Archive for the 'Common and Crap' Category
And Today I Chose To Be Happy
Are you happy today?
If you hesitated for a few seconds to think about that
that’s probably already an obvious answer by itself.
My friend, I am of no different.
But, what I heard on Sunday
just led me into deep thoughts about this question.
When we are asked about whether are we happy today?
We tend to recall the day we have had,
the people we met, the events happened,
or perhaps the coffee we had in the early morning.
Are all those things really relevant to judge your day?
People get unhappy with rude waiters,
People get unhappy with bad weather,
People get unhappy with their newly released result and appraisal,
People get unhappy with unskilled taxi drivers that don’t know where to go.
Don’t we always punish ourselves with others’ wrongdoing?
Don’t we always blame ourselves for things we did in the past?
Ever wonder
Maybe your today,
1/ 29200 of your entire life,
deserves something better than that?
That’s the figure you get,
provided you live to 80 years old,
and you are currently a baby yet to be born.
If you are currently 20,
today, is 1 / 21900 of your remaining life.
If you are 40,
that’s 1/ 14600 of your remaining life.
And only if you REALLY live to 80.
I am used to worry everyday.
I thought that’s just the way to be.
That’s just the price of growing up.
I am used to think that
taking responsibility and being happy is a zero sum game.
If your parents didn’t tell you so,
at least Hollywood would have,
“The greater the power, the greater the responsibility”
and you see Spiderman never smiles.
That’s not true.
From Box office of Hollywood
to the Oval office of White House,
Happiness is frequently misinterpreted.
Went to school,
attended college,
and got out there to live your American dream,
You have read the “Declaration of Independence” throughout your schooling.
And you live your day by
climbing your corporate ladder
running your business
with absolute faith in those “unalienable rights”
“Life, Liberty, and The Pursuit of Happiness”
stated in that greatest declaration ever made on earth.
Don’t we tend to equate the pursuit of happiness to the pursuit of wealth?
So, how’s your chase turned out to be today?
Did you have a good catch today?
Oh! I should be off record for my chase today!
I have been having a bad mood due to that rude waiter,
so today doesn’t count.
Oh! I should let myself off about my catch today!
My stupid boss promoted my colleague instead of me.
That’s apparently nothing I could have done to be not upset about that.
And the list goes on…
I, myself, have a 86 years old father.
I have never seen such a determined/stubborn person in my life.
Before I got into university,
my father’s obsession with my academic excellence was of zero tolerance.
I never blame my father, and never will.
Perhaps,
in his time,
“being rich and successful” was somehow the closest definition of “happiness”
that 1920s Malaysian Chinese immigrants could have come up with.
However,
For all the blood and toil my father shed and sweated
He just wants me to be happy.
To have our loved ones to be happy,
Perhaps that’s something ultimately what most parents will agree on.
Each and every time I get to this point,
it’s really tempting to blame myself for the days I wasted
on sweating and worrying the small stuffs.
But I tell myself not to go down that bloody road.
I’m not going to live in “what could have, what should have, what would have”
I’m not going to “undo, redo, cut, copy, paste” like Microsoft Words.
I’m going to start a new page like Bill Gates.
I don’t give a damn the top schools I would have got myself into,
I don’t give a damn the exam papers I should have scored better,
I don’t give a damn the perfect ex-girlfriend I could have treated nicer,
I don’t give myself in to re-live my every yesterday.
There’s nothing in life which is more stupid than
to expect different results for doing the same thing again.
I’m going let myself off.
I’m done with my yesterdays.
I’m not going to live in resentment.
For whoever that hurt me badly,
If the wound had taken me a month to recover,
I’m not going to waste another extra year for vengeance, to hurt back.
I’m not going to ruin my days by disappointments.
Delay is not denial.
I’m going to hold on,
I’m going to stay, I’m going to get there.
And I’m not going to worry about getting there.
I have to admit that
I am but an imperfect human being
with limited ability to foresee and control,
or even worse,
with limited knowledge to realise what I really want and need.
For what I didn’t choose right
For what I didn’t act wise
For what I didn’t perform well
God will.
Fate will.
Destiny will.
And today
I’m not going to worry about things that I have little control over.
Not about my old age father’s health
Not about my cross-nationality relationship,
Not about my future employment.
I’m not going to get fear, insecurity and worries to ruin my days.
Perhaps
Happiness is not just a mere absence of despair.
Happiness is more than just a “passive” non-existence of trouble.
Happiness is a self-willingness to feel glad and to appreciate.
And today,
I’m still pursuing happiness and wealth as everyone does.
However,
I challenge myself to set the priorities right.
I’m here to be happy,
I’m here to serve my Maker,
I’m here to advocate for issues that I deem important.
I’m not here to chase blindly
while every end-catch is just yet another chase awaiting to be started.
And today,
I chose to stop looking back.
And today,
I chose to stop worrying forward.
And today,
I chose to be happy.
告别 2008
小学的时候
有一天我轻微地生病了
但是那天有上课。
我的保姆看到都心疼
在陪我等校巴的时候
对我说道“你如果是在读着大学就好，你舅舅之前在美国读大学，上不上学都可以的。”
那时幼小的我
突然好想上大学。
高中三的时候
有一天早上
我和义杰在食堂喝着早茶。
看着那一片翠绿的高尔夫球场
我的心却无比的沉重
在课室里等着我抄的
是一本本迟交的化学和微积分的功课。
义杰说： “如果你真的没心要读理科，真的不必呆在这间学校里浪费时间。”
那时做着业余光碟生意的我，
突然间好想休学去做工。
转眼间
凭着不错的预科成绩
我进了墨尔本大学。
对于大学第一年的印象
和Erick在年尾的感触大有共鸣
“ 啊，这样就花了24700澳币。”
那时不曾认真学习的我
突然间觉得读名牌大学也没什么难度。
今天。
我从那庞大的考场走出来。
望着那徐徐流水的喷泉，
那墨尔本市区最漂亮的花园，
我的心情却没为这来临的夏天绽放。
又是另外一张
真的尽了力
却考得不怎么样的考卷。
突然间我好想回到
小学那生病等校巴的我。
回到那种
“我第一名，就是我赢”
那简单稚气的独赢。
走出考场的那刻，
我也很努力去找
高中二的那种“你赢，我也赢”的感觉
互相帮忙，交换笔记，交流泻题
那种积极进取的“双赢”
可是
我找不到。
这大学第二年
反而真正教会我的是
一个小鸟和鸡的故事。
小鸟和鸡赛跑，
谁会赢？
有时候，
当你到了某一个大环境，
当你到了某一个层次，
你，这小鸟，
总以为自己和鸡
长得非常相似，
经历过同样多的事物
总以为只要你够努力
就不会输给鸡。
可是，
小鸟是跑不赢鸡的。
这一类的例子
从一流的商学院考试中，
到那崩盘的美国股市里
都能看到。
这鸡和小鸟的赛跑，
那“你很努力，不等于你能”的说法
是那么的残酷
也那么的真实。
小学的“独赢”
中学的“双赢”
大学第二年，
我终于领悟和接受了
那无奈而真实的
“让别人赢”。
或许
“让别人赢”
不是一种自暴自弃的态度
而是一种成熟坦然的表现。
去承认
努力不是成功的唯一准绳。
去接受
完美人生中的残缺。
去拒绝
盲目固执地用双脚
努力和鸡赛跑
而忘了自己
飞的能力。
２００８年，
我认真地跑了，
我输了。
朋友，你呢？
你跑赢了吗？
不管你的答案与否
想让你知道
虽然
有些已经不经常见面了
有些已经没什么话题了
有些甚至就快离开澳洲了。
这人生漫长的马拉松，
第２００８公里
因输赢而开始
因努力而疲惫
因跌倒而成长
也因你们，而精彩。
假期快乐
告别了，２００８。
3 comments记得别留白……
我发了一个梦
在梦里我什么都有。
我有了我要的所有东西
我甚至有了压在我心底最不为人知的渴望。
在梦里，我有了我的答案。
我得到了我要的戏剧般的感情报复。
我明白了这一路走来，
遇过的坎坷和曲折都不是恍然。
这让我想起了我人生中的那么一幕
那一幕，
现在我终于明白。
那一幕是
在学校巴士上，
我当时还是高中一。
当时我一位高中三的学长要毕业了。
当时我问他，
“ 你这中学六年来，最大的遗憾是什么？”
他，这理科班第一班的学生，告诉我
他最后悔的是
这六年来“没有玩多点”。
他指的是，
没有更放胆去做他想做的事
没有放下某一个来临的小考
尽情地去和家人吃个晚餐，
没有放过校巴的离去
敢敢和朋友们留下来打几场篮球。
为了面子，为了成绩，
没有勇敢说出那青涩的甜蜜，
去成就那纯纯的
隔两排桌椅的爱情。
他后悔的是，
这六年来，
他，这马来西亚全国第一高中理科班的精英
记得的
带走的
只是一张文凭。
当时在高中一的我
还是个以为成绩就是一切的学生
根本无法明白他的这一番 “后悔”
反而觉得他是在开玩笑。
但是，现在我明白了。
或许，
你我现在在努力的事物
在如今的角度，
他们是那么无可否认的重要。
中学的，
会说成绩就是大学入门票。
大学的，
会说分数就是就业直通车。
做工的，
会说业绩就是幸福白皮书。
在人生中的每一个阶段
我们都会有一个主干目标，
那是你我活着的目的，
那是让你带着困意爬起床的原动力。
那是你我屡战屡败也不放弃的毅力。
虽然
他日暮然回首
也许我还会怪自己
为什么把事情看得那么重
就算搞砸了事情，
人生也不见得会差。
不是说
这一切都不重要，
无需执着努力，
而是更希望自己在
这名与利的追逐中
别忘了沿途的风景。
别忘了放胆
去爱，去恨，去接受，去改变，去尝试，去感动。
不只要
用心去应验人生目标的那一刻。
更要
放心去体验生命的每一秒。
因为
如果旅行的目的是结局
那旅行的结局就是
走下飞机，回到家里。
如果人生的目的是结局
那人生的结局就是
闭上眼睛，回到黄土里。
我的朋友们啊，
你们是不是和我一样，
有太多的责任
有太多的重负
有太多的“万一”
有太多的“输不起”
而几乎忘了
人生
不是一个方程式
而是一个进行式。
还记得
小学考试前父母的叮咛吗？
考卷里，
写错了也没关系
但记得别留白。
一个小孩子也明白的道理：
“ 对，记得别留白。”
8 comments失页的恍惚
在爱情白皮书里
恍然发现书里少了一页……
这“失页”
使你的阅读停顿
这一页的失去
让你对剧情猜疑
这一个人的离去
让你对感情质疑。
有人会犹豫停住
有人会彷徨无助
有人会尝试弥补
跳过去下一页找眉目
去继续读这有缺页的书。
而这类似经历的人物
他们难免会尝试往前页翻读
来试着连接失页后的事故。
他们难免会往事回顾
来试着找一个理由把自己说服。
书页脱出，
说明一本被翻阅过的书。
书页脱出，
证明一条曾经付出过的感情路。
书页脱出，
是我那改不掉的疏忽？
是你的心荒芜得太仓促？
还是我们的爱原本就是错误的全部？
书页脱出，
不怪作者设局的残酷
也难怪读者被情节束缚。
书页脱出，
是我那不在乎的粗鲁？
是那累积的恶劣态度？
还是你那无心的辜负？
书页脱出，
我不再用自毁来写痛苦回忆录。
我不再用自责来对自己报复。
书页脱出，
谢谢过去的用心阅读。
谢谢曾经的细心照顾。
书页脱出，
成全你的角色追逐。
成为我的戏剧前度。
书页脱出，
我不否认我的错误。
书页脱出，
我不否定我们曾经的相互。
书页脱出，
我不因你的结束而痛哭
我因我们的真心付出
而学会庆幸满足。
书页脱出，
我学会看那遗失后的页数。
书页脱出，
我学会走那没有你之后的……
每一步。
G for Gravity?
When miracle happens,
Christians will say “Oh, Jesus!”
Buddhists will say “Oh, Buddha!”
Muslims will say “Oh, Allah!”
Communists will say “Oh, Party leader!”
Atheist will say “Oh, Me!”
To a certain extent,
don’t we all believe that someone,
that “someone” can even be yourself,
is looking after your life,
is determining your destiny
is walking with you in this long journey of life?
I’m not here to comment any aforementioned choice of faith,
but to share some thoughts about living by faith.
One funny thing about this world is
it just takes 1 textbook-illustrated scientific experiment
to make most people to believe in gravity force.
But it takes more than 1 billion “biologically alive” people’s life-changing real stories
to make some people to slightly believe in supernatural force.
Although you can see neither of those forces.
Someone says this is something to do with immediacy.
When you let go a glass in hand,
it falls and breaks immediately.
When you pray to God
it seems that you don’t get reply or rescue “right away”.
Someone says this is something to do with consistency.
A glass hits ground,
it breaks, every time.
A prayer in despair
it seems to get answered, sometimes?
Don’t you agree the main problem about immediacy
is the difference in relativity?
According to your average life span of 80 years,
when your life falls apart,
how “immediate” reply should be defined as immediate?
Now? Tomorrow? Next Year? Next Decade?
And now,
turn your scope
to a falling glass with average life span of 2 seconds…
Perhaps now
we all do have a fairer opinion on immediacy.
Try to flashback through your life
by hold tight to your faith (in whatever name)
Didn’t your life somehow turn out to be better over time?
Having a consensus on immediacy.
some of us might be still questioning about consistency.
Glass falls,
we always get broken pieces.
Prayer delivers
we don’t always get what we asked for.
Yes, we don’t.
But, isn’t life great
because we don’t always get what we asked for?
And how should we judge that
what is the best
to be delivered to who
at where
by when?
Sometimes,
we say
this is God’s best plan,
this is fate,
this is Fengshui,
this is our inner self,
that even
we, as normal human being
don’t have complete knowledge of.
It is quite irrelevant which name of faith you choose from above,
but the main idea holds:
Human beings are but short-sighted living creatures.
We don’t foresee.
What if you prayed for finding an apartment of $1500 rental,
securing a financially viable home in a new city?
But God didn’t give you right away
instead
He got you a career promotion
and you are now easily paying $2000
for a beautiful apartment monthly?
Could we say God denied your initial prayer?
Or would you claim, “that’s nothing about Him, it’s ME, ME and ME.”?
Even a maid will not necessarily clean your kitchen
in the exact way you asked.
Demanding our God, our Fate, our Fengshui, or our Party Leader
to deliver exact whatever being asked for,
isn’t that absurd?
Think again.
Don’t things just turn out to be just fine or even better?
eventhough it is never ever foreseeable to be part of our plans, anyway.
Perhaps life is a journey.
A journey with detours,
not to stop us at the crossroads
but to challenge us to live by faith, not by sight.
A journey with fall-behind and far-ahead,
not to sorry for those that we have to forgo,
but to thanks for those that never let go.
A journey of no return,
not to be upset for the limited time span,
but to be glad for the unlimited possibilities that it offers.
And nevertheless,
Life is always a better journey
when you know you are not walking alone.
This post is especially dedicated to Jia Heng and Adelene,
my girlfriend, my family and You.
Yes, You too
You, the one that reading this.
Happy Winter Break,
and have a nice holiday!
No comments后来
这首旧歌，
刘若英“我等你”专辑里的《后来》
送给我心中的“刘若英”。
关于升降机的故事，
关于那美女与野兽的经济学，
关于那首为你改编的“我爱的人”歌词
对不起，
我不写了。
曾经听我说过唱过的
就让他们永存于你我心中就好。
＂你都如何回忆我？
带着笑，或是很沉默？
这些年来，有没有人让你不寂寞．．．．．．＂
2 comments
What I have learnt about relationship in Year 1 Commerce
Transition to Commerce (Teaching & Learning Unit)
Academic referencing is like being in a relationship.
You rarely get merit for doing it right,
but you definitely get penalized for doing it wrong.
Accounting Report and Analysis (306-107)
Having said that your promise is a liability to you, but an asset to me.
However, we don’t depreciate liability; but for asset, we do.
Accounting Transaction and Analysis (306-108)
It is good to have partnership.
It is good to have an equal share of happiness and sorrow,
but please don’t acquire me and form a big family.
Journal entries for consolidating accounts are troublesome, repetitive, and boring.
Introductory Microeconomics (316-102)
Betrayal doesn’t mean you and him are bad “complementary goods”.
It simply means he found a good “substitute”.
Introductory Macroeconomics (316-101)
Relationship is like a currency appreaciation,
you and me benefit individually,
and we suffer as a whole.
Quantitative Methods 1 (316-130)
A line of best fit doesn’t mean you and me are perfect.
It simply means we are equally imperfect on each side.
Business Process Analysis (306-106)
If she says “Yes, I love you.”
That means you have qualified in her “Credit Checking”
If she forces you to say ”Yes, I do.”
That means you are undergoing a relationship ”Pre Billing”.
Finance 1 (333-101)
Relationship is like a mortgage.
You get something in the beginning
and you pay for it in installment for the rest of your life.
In addition,
this “house” might run away.
Running away
will cause you a stronger degree of pain,
namely “unfavourable outcome”.
Not running away
will give you a strong degree of pleasure,
namely, “favourable outcome”.
Therefore,
to hedge this uncertainty of pleasure or pain,
people decide to bear with a certain degree of pain constantly
by getting into a Forward Rate Agreement (FRA)
namely, marriage.
Managing People and Organisation (325-101)
Sorry, this is a bullshit subject that I have learnt nothing.
单身日记（三人行版）
Jason 和John的单身日记，
有了 Erick 的加入。
一个干完Business Process Analysis 功课的凌晨，
三个男生在墨尔本城市里的某一个角落，
录下了他们感情中的
每一个邂逅
和错过。
谢谢Erick，
百度网站没有这歌的歌词。
他应该是
一句一句
从音乐中
自己慢慢地写下来的。
或许
他也是那样
一步一步
从挫折中
自己慢慢地站起来的……
相关连接：Erick (742) 的 《怕寂寞》， Jason 的 《单身日记》
7 comments
