Jason Liew

 

Are you happy today?

If you hesitated for a few seconds to think about that

that’s probably already an obvious answer by itself.

 

My friend, I am of no different.

But, what I heard on Sunday

just led me into deep thoughts about this question.

 

When we are asked about whether are we happy today?

We tend to recall the day we have had,

the people we met, the events happened,

or perhaps the coffee we had in the early morning.

 

Are all those things really relevant to judge your day?

People get unhappy with rude waiters,

People get unhappy with bad weather,

People get unhappy with their newly released result and appraisal,

People get unhappy with unskilled taxi drivers that don’t know where to go.

 

Don’t we always punish ourselves with others’ wrongdoing?

Don’t we always blame ourselves for things we did in the past?

Ever wonder

Maybe your today,

1/ 29200 of your entire life,

deserves something better than that?

That’s the figure you get,

provided you live to 80 years old,

and you are currently a baby yet to be born.

 

If you are currently 20, 

today, is  1 / 21900 of your remaining life.

If you are 40,

that’s  1/ 14600 of your remaining life.

And only if you REALLY live to 80.

 

I am used to worry everyday.

I thought that’s just the way to be.

That’s just the price of growing up.

I am used to think that

taking responsibility and being happy is a zero sum game.

If your parents didn’t tell you so,

at least Hollywood would have,

“The greater the power, the greater the responsibility”

and you see Spiderman never smiles.

 

That’s not true.

 

From Box office of Hollywood

to the Oval office of White House,

Happiness is frequently misinterpreted.

 

Went to school,

attended college,

and got out there to live your American dream,

You have read the “Declaration of Independence” throughout your schooling.

And you live your day by

climbing your corporate ladder

running your business

with absolute faith in those “unalienable rights”

“Life, Liberty, and The Pursuit of Happiness”

stated in that greatest declaration ever made on earth.

 

Don’t we tend to equate the pursuit of happiness to the pursuit of wealth?

So, how’s your chase turned out to be today?

Did you have a good catch today?

 

Oh! I should be off record for my chase today!

I have been having a bad mood due to that rude waiter,

so today doesn’t count.

 

Oh! I should let myself off about my catch today!

My stupid boss promoted my colleague instead of me.

That’s apparently nothing I could have done to be not upset about that.

 

And the list goes on…

 

I, myself, have a 86 years old father.

I have never seen such a determined/stubborn person in my life.

Before I got into university,

my father’s obsession with my academic excellence was of zero tolerance.

 

I never blame my father, and never will.

Perhaps,

in his time,

“being rich and successful” was somehow the closest definition of “happiness”

that 1920s Malaysian Chinese immigrants could have come up with.

 

However,

For all the blood and toil my father shed and sweated

He just wants me to be happy.

To have our loved ones to be happy,

Perhaps that’s something ultimately what most parents will agree on.

 

Each and every time I get to this point,

it’s really tempting to blame myself for the days I wasted

on sweating and worrying the small stuffs.

 

But I tell myself not to go down that bloody road.

I’m not going to live in “what could have, what should have, what would have”

I’m not going to “undo, redo, cut, copy, paste” like Microsoft Words.

I’m going to start a new page like Bill Gates.

 

I don’t give a damn the top schools I would have got myself into,

I don’t give a damn the exam papers I should have scored better,

I don’t give a damn the perfect ex-girlfriend  I could have treated nicer,

I don’t give myself in to re-live my every yesterday.

There’s nothing in life which is more stupid than

to expect different results for doing the same thing again.

I’m going let myself off.

I’m done with my yesterdays.

 

I’m not going to live in resentment.

For whoever that hurt me badly,

If the wound had taken me a month to recover,

I’m not going to waste another extra year for vengeance, to hurt back.

 

I’m not going to ruin my days by disappointments.

Delay is not denial.

I’m going to hold on,

I’m going to stay, I’m going to get there.

 

And I’m not going to worry about getting there.

I have to admit that

I am but an imperfect human being

with limited ability to foresee and control,

or even worse,

with limited knowledge to realise what I really want and need.

For what I didn’t choose right

For what I didn’t act wise

For what I didn’t perform well

God will.

Fate will.

Destiny will.

 

And today

I’m not going to worry about things that I have little control over.

Not about my old age father’s health

Not about my cross-nationality relationship,

Not about my future employment.

I’m not going to get fear, insecurity and worries to ruin my days.

 

Perhaps

Happiness is not just a mere absence of despair.

Happiness is more than just a “passive” non-existence of trouble.

Happiness is a self-willingness to feel glad and to appreciate.

 

And today,

I’m still pursuing happiness and wealth as everyone does.

However,

I challenge myself to set the priorities right.

I’m here to be happy,

I’m here to serve my Maker,

I’m here to advocate for issues that I deem important.

I’m not here to chase blindly 

while every end-catch is just yet another chase awaiting to be started.

 

And today,

I chose to stop looking back.

And today,

I chose to stop worrying forward.

And today,

I chose to be happy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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